Gender Identity
"Have you ever wished that men would come with instruction booklets? If you buy a toaster, or an answering machine, it's always accompanied by a nice little booklet that helps you understand the product, explains its featues and tells you how to avoid hurting yourself when you use it. Well, what about men? As women, we "use" men more than our other "appliances", yet we're expected to figure out how they work all by ourselves. When it works, we think men are fantastic, and we're sure we couldn't live without them. When it doesn't work, we think men are impossible, and that we're much better off never having to deal with them at all.
As a woman, you have three choices as to how you are going to deal with men during your lifetime:
Choice #1: you can get angry at the men in your life for driving you crazy and spend your time complaining about them. (This is fun for a few hours, but after a few years, it loses its attraction)
Choice #2: You can give up men entirely and buy a nice fluffy pet. (This is cheaper, and less work, but not very fulfilling.)
Choice #3: Master the Art of Seduction
Iago: If a woman is pretty and smart, she uses her good looks to get what she wants
Desdemona: But what if the woman is smart but ugly?
Iago: Even if she's ugly, she'll be smart enough to find a guy to sleep with her
Emilia: What if she's pretty but stupid?
Iago: No pretty woman is stupid, because her stupidity will make her more attractive to men. Emilia: What horrible thing fo you have to say about a woman who's both ugly and stupid?
Iago: No matter how ugly or stupid the woman is, she plays the same dirty tricks that the smart and pretty ones do.
-Adapted from Othello (the Shakespeare for idiots version)-
MEN.
WOMEN.
IAGO: She that was ever fair and never proud,
Had tongue at will and yet was never loud,
never lacked gold and yet went never gay,
Fled from her wish and yet said "Now I may"
She that being angered, her revenge being nigh,
Bade her wrong stay and her displeasure fly,
She that in wisdom never was so frail
To change the cod's head for the salmon's tail,
She that could think and ne'er disclose her mind,
See suitors following and not look behind,
She was a wight, if ever such wights were-
The ideal woman according to Iago,
A woman who was beautiful but never proud,
who could speak well but knew when to be quiet,
who dressed well but was never overdressed
who had self restraint even when she could get what she wanted,
a woman who never took revenge,
who overlooked when people hurt her,
who was too wise to do anything stupid,
who could think without revealing her thoughts,
and who could refrain from flirting with men in love with her,
that kind of woman,
if she ever existed, would-...........would raise babies and clip coupons.
Charmaine at 2:05 AM
-zai